i am so scared to get hurt again. I am so scared to lose him. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I just want to love him and not be terrified that one day he won’t love me. I don’t want to be strangers who were once in love. I want him to know I gave him my heart, and I gave it to him to keep forever. If he lets go of me, he’ll still always hold my heart. I’ll never get that part of me back. I don’t want to lose my best friend. A love like this can’t come twice. Calling him a boyfriend doesn’t seem like enough. He’s so much more. I don’t know where I would be today without him.
I want this to last forever.
Day One (of him being away): I miss sex.
Day Sixty-two (of a piece of my heart being 300 miles away): I miss holding your hand. I miss hugging you. I miss my head on your chest, and the sound of your heart beat. I miss the entire span of my hand being able to fit around your pinky. I miss the way you kiss my forehead, and the way you play with my hair. I miss your lips. I miss the way you smell. I miss staring into your eyes and saying nothing. I miss cuddling. I miss sex, but I miss so much more.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’
Rebecca- age 8
‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’
Billy - age 4
‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’
Karl - age 5
‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’
Chrissy - age 6
‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’
Terri - age 4
‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’
Danny - age 7
‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’
Emily - age 8
‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’
Nikka - age 6
‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’
Noelle - age 7
‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’
Tommy - age 6
‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’
Cindy - age 8
‘My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night..’
Clare - age 6
‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’
‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’
Chris - age 7
‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’
Mary Ann - age 4
‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones..’
Lauren - age 4
‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’
Karen - age 7
‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’
Mark - age 6
‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’
Jessica - age 8
And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’
My rants are over. Thanks for the people on tumblr. You guys are amazing. And I know I can sound like such a fucking hypocrite when I say this, but too bad, I don’t wish this mindset on anyone.
I just want you to know you’re beautiful. And I don’t need to see you to know it. You are beautiful. Not because of your personality, although that always helps. But no, you, just in your looks, you are beautiful. There is always someone, always, who thinks so. Whether it ever seems like it or not. It usually doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean someone doesn’t see it every day. Now it’s your turn to see it yourself. Don’t become me. Don’t be sad all the time. Don’t let this become an obsession. It is not worth it. Feel beautiful. It feels good. Be confident. It will show and it will make you all the more radiant.
Things I’m not:
- Pretty enough
- Skinny enough
- Good enough
i’m not okay but i can fake it until everyone believes it.
People need to learn to respect that there are other religions and belief systems other than their own. While things are against your religion, they may not be against someone else’s. This means that the things that are against your religion are things YOU do not do. They are not things you force other people not to do. Abortion is something many people view as wrong, and I agree with them, but I am pro-CHOICE. Not pro-killing-a-baby, but pro women having a choice for what to do with their own body based on what THEIR morals and beliefs are. Obama’s laws are not ridiculous in telling people to sell contraception. There are numerous studies saying that this even decreases the chance for abortion, so why not do it? And if contraception is against your religion, THEN DON’T USE IT. Don’t tell other people they can’t and deny them the right to have it. This is equivalent to saying since drinking alcohol is against your religion so you refuse to sell it to someone. Gay marriage, if it’s against your religion for two people of the same sex to be together, then don’t be with someone of the same sex. Don’t tell other people they can’t because that is what YOU believe, not what they believe. Share your opinion, don’t force it.
I know we won’t last forever. I don’t see forever for us anymore. but I don’t see an end either. I don’t think I could ever end it with him, but we’re just too different to have a life together. But I love him. So much, with all my heart and soul. He’s why I wake up in the morning and the reason I sleep happy at night. I need him like I need air. All the fucking time.
Things hurt and I want to be perfect but I know I’m not and hurts when you point it out because dammit, I want to be perfect to someone. I want to be perfect to you.
And what do you do when they’re perfect for you but you’re no good for them? Do you let them go no matter how it destroys you?
Or do you change yourself, mold yourself, hide yourself until you become who they want you to be?
You say we have things to work on but we is me. I need to work on me. I’m imperfect and I can’t stay this way. Messed up. Fucked up.
Prettier. I need to work on that too. Maybe it’s all the food. Maybe it’s time for none. None is good, none is empty like the rest of me.
Because empty is what I need to be. I need to not feel so much. Numb would be nice, lets go back to that.
It hurts a little. Or I guess it hurts a lot. I’m scared you’ll find her, the girl I’m not.
But the girl you want me to be, the girl you need me to be. The girl you deserve for me to be.
Not this. I’m too messed up.
Fix me, please.
do you know how good it would feel to be happy again? Can I rewind ten years. Can I get a do over? I want to tell that stupid, stupid little girl that it doesn’t get better when you’re older. I want her to know that. I wish she knew that. But no. She sat there waiting for sixteen. She said it’d be the best year of her life. In ways, it has been amazing. In ways, it’s been the worst.
Because they get worse. The years, the months, the days. Even today, I’m promising myself it’ll be better another year. I would never admit that it’ll never be okay.
But it won’t.
Things will never be okay.
Because when you’re unhappy for so long, you just don’t know how to be anything else. Happiness is foreign to me.
Back to that little girl. She was happy, she was. She loved her parents and they were the only friends she needed. I want to be that little girl. I want to be close to my daddy again and not worry about boys and sex. I want to be okay with my frizzy hair and my ugly teeth and not realize that I’m different because my skin is darker and trust everyone and believe everyone is good.
I just want to be happy.